So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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