dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
