it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
