What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Success! We fucked roommates!
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