So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
