see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
