new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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