Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
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I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
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Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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