His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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