Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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