Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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