Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've blown a few things in my day
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
