We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
