I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There's a naked man in my car right now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
