I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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