Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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