I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
