so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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