Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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