I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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