I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
