For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
