I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
