Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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