You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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