Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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