You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
