I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
