The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
