I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
