my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just want nice things and good sex
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
