is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
