There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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