its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize