I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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