sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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