Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
