Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
