sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
