I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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