I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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