yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
