I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
