this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Alive.
So much puke
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
