So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You've changed since you got that strap on
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
