I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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