A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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