she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
