My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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