I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
