Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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