please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
