yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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