There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
