The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
