They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
