I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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