I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
