This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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