I just pynch a tree in the face
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize