So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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